Let It Fade....

You know, it’s really amazing (and kind of dumbfounding) how many revelations you can have on one “simple” lesson or topic. I’ve written many times about friendships and relationships; you’d think I would have learned all that I could by now! But nooo, God has this amazing way of taking a lesson he’s already taught you, tweaks it just a bit, and hits you upside the head with it again while saying, “Dear child, when are you going to WAKE UP!?” Well, welcome to my life!

It’s a little sad that it took meeting my new primary doctor (who is totally awesome) to get my butt in gear, but here I am! About to make a move TOTALLY out of character for me: going to a church I’ve never been to before, and just showing up (by myself) at their young adults group. And I’m TERRIFIED. But extremely excited at the same time! See, since I moved here I’ve been depressed about not meeting people my age, not having people to hang out, and basically just drowning out the sadness of not having that kind of contact anymore by completely submersing myself in work. But it’s taking a toll… After talking with my doctor yesterday, she confirmed it: I HAVE to start getting out with people my own age. She explained how that would really help with the depression (well, that and exercise… whoops.). So last night I went home, and googled for about 2 hours (it’s actually pretty difficult to find CHRISTIAN young adults groups in this town!) but I found two churches that really interest me, so hey! Why not check it out, give these guys a chance?

I realized today while listening to “Let It Fade” by Jeremy Camp (amazing song! Must listen!), that I’ve been so angry with God for not “getting me friends”, and been clinging onto the idea of the past friendships I had. But what I wasn’t accounting for was right in front of my face: I’d moved. I was in a new city, new place in life, and I didn’t have any of my old friends. It won’t be that easy here. I’m going to have to WORK now at having relationships like that again. Back home, we all grew up together. 11 years worth of school, sports, sleepovers, dances, crying, laughing, and jokes. That’s a long time! I’m not going to find that again for quite a while! But in the meantime, I can start actively working on making Portland my home. (Oh, by the way, since my mission trip is coming up, I have decided to stop with my no-identifiers rule, since I will be posting pictures of my trip and such!) I’d been working so hard in one area of my life (rebuilding my relationship with God) that I virtually ignored every other part. And boy, have I paid for that!

Speaking of relationships though, it brings me to a point that most people who know me bring up: boys! Well, as my readers know: I broke up with my soon-to-have-been fiancé in September of last year. It’s been hard looking on that relationship, and finding out things after-the-fact (like when he got a new girlfriend 2 months later, or that he had bought my engagement ring already). But God has been very gracious with me, and every time there was a down, he without fail provided something to be excited about or for my mind to be consumed with! And, much to my pleasure, I have decided to stop dating- and the best part? God must totally agree with this choice, because he sure has made sure there are absolutely no guys to be interested in! And if/when one does happen to come around, I’ve already had the awesome guys in my office offer to interview him and make sure I’m not picking another one of my “winners”, instead of the guy God has picked out for me! It’s a little scary, not going to lie, but I don’t think I’ve ever been happier about a decision than I am about this one!

Well, sorry to cut this one short folks, but the time has come for me to get on the road to my first Young Adults group with New Hope Church! Praying it goes well!

Loving Thoughts,

Girl With No Name