It's almost been a year since I moved away from home. And it's unbelievable to see just how much has changed. In high school, you always hear adults saying "Time flies!" and "So many things changed in such short time!". I was just like, "Well yeah, high school is going by pretty fast, and I'm changing grades and jobs and whatnot...." I never fully understood what they meant, until now.
See, I'm a plan maker. And last summer, I had a plan. My best friend and I were going to live together in a small college town, go to school, and just have fun. Welllll, when we both decided we hated the school we were supposed to be attending, my whole plan, and my whole world, flipped upside down in about four days.... Four short days, is all it took (and all God needed) to literally change the course of my whole life.
It has been an amazing, wild, and hard ride; filled to the brim with plenty of ups and downs to keep my head spinning, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have no idea where I'd be if my friend and I had stuck to our plan, but I have a very strong feeling that it would be a total 180 from where I am now.
And it hasn't been any secrete that I don't like living in the city. I miss my country life. I miss knowing everyone. There is just something about living in a small town that is so calm, peaceful, and reassuring. I love it. But what that guy said really hit home. THIS is where God put me. He made that VERY clear! He's shown me many reasons for me being here, another one of which He showed me on Sunday, which was impacted more by what I had discussed with my bible study leader last Tuesday. I'm supposed to be in this place. I'm supposed to be involving myself in the church. I'm supposed to be reaching out to others, helping them avoid the mistakes I've made in my past, or helping them through their own mistakes. I'm supposed to be here, to learn more about my relationship with God, and to grow in it. I may not particularly enjoy every bit of it, but I get to be a light in a dark place.
I asked God last week to test me, to start tearing me down so He could build me back up. I told Him that I was sick of the way I'd been living, even with Him so much more in my life. I want a change. I want to be used and molded into HIS creation. I want His light and glory to shine through my life. I want to reach out and help others. I want to go on mission trips. I want to become so involved in my church that whenever someone needs something done, my name instantly pops in their head. I want to live my life FOR God. I want Him to be in every nook and cranny of my life. I want people to make no mistake in knowing, in SEEING, that I am a Christian woman living for God. He has started this process already. I have a feeling, this has been a long time coming; He just had to wait for me to open my heart and say the word. It's hard. There are a lot of things I have to come to terms with. But I know, without a doubt, that while it's GOD tearing me down, HE is also the one building me back up so I am more useful to whatever His plan is for me. I have faith that I'm going to make it through. He never gives us a test that we can't ace. We may stumble, but if He brings us to it, He'll bring us through it!
Loving thoughts,
Girl With No Name
1 comment:
Wow, sounds like you are making quite the life. Being a light in a dark place, a good quote to remember, and an amazing thing to be called.
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